Happy New Year! I hope you all have enjoyed your night! Tonight as many proposals are happening across the world, I wanted to share something with you that took me some time to learn.
Have you ever wondered about the significance of an engagement ring and the band to complement it on your wedding day? Does it have any meaning to you? Well, before I met Nathan and through most of our engagement it was just a pretty piece of jewelry that, if it came down to it, I could give back at any time.
I was just beginning to “move on” and work on healing from a rather toxic relationship when Nathan and I met. There were many things in this past relationship that affected my now marriage, but one thing that stands out in my memory from this relationship was a ring that, let’s call this ex-boyfriend “Adam”, gave me.
I’ve always loved rings; they have always been my favorite jewelry to wear. So, I told Adam I wanted a ring with his birthstone color in it. He gave it to me for my birthday and I loved it. I thought it was so beautiful and it had so much value to me. As we got further along in our very short relationship and issues arose, it became this worthless object that we threw back and forth. If I was mad at him, I gave it back; when he wanted me to forgive him, he gave it back. It was a never ending cycle.
As I’ve mentioned in my previous post, 1 Year of Marriage, Nate and I struggled a lot during our engagement. I can recall a disagreement at some point in the middle of our engagement in which I proceeded to take off my ring and give it to him. He was so confused and very hurt. I don’t remember what the disagreement was about but I’ll never forget what he said to me which was, “don’t ever take this ring off again.” Not to be controlling, but to stress to me how important I was and how committed to me he was and still is. Rings represent covenant and when given as a gift they symbolize honor.
Men, when you propose you are committing to treating your wife with integrity, dignity and honor. Ephesians 5:25 says that a man is to love his wife as Christ loves the church [us]. Of course this is not one-sided because a covenant is an agreement, which has to be mutual. (Ephesians 5:22) What is often left out is the second part of the scripture, verses 26 & 27, which state that a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy (Eph. 5:26-27). God designed marriage to be a holy institution.
While my ring from Adam was not a proposal for marriage, it was symbolic of our relationship and what I thought it represented. We were both seeking a relationship with God, or so I thought. When something is sacred, such as your wedding ring, you take good care of it and protect it. In my mind if he gifted me a ring then that must mean that he honors and respects me. The harsh truth was that if he truly honored me I wouldn’t have been searching for it in a ring, because the ring was only a symbol of what already existed in the relationship.
What I hope you take from this is that your ring is a symbol of the sacredness of your relationship. It symbolizes your commitment not only to each other but to God’s holy institution. I realize now that the incidents that occurred during my past relationship proved a lack of mutual respect and honor. After this past year of marriage I understand God’s purpose and design for marriage and what our rings symbolize.
We are at the beginning of a new year, I pray that this is meaningful for those of you entering into a new season of your life. I pray this weighs on you, in a healthy way. Fight for your relationship and marriage! Respect and honor your spouse and honor the symbol of your union!
Until next time,
Holy [ˈhōlē]: dedicated or consecrated to God or a religious purpose; sacred.
It can also mean Devoted to the service of God.